Monthly Archives: September 2010

Oddities: Heisman, Vanity, and Red Bull Airplanes!


Unless the Heisman Trophy Committee is employed by Men In Black Headquarters, I’m pretty sure they won’t be able to Memory-Wiper-Flashy-Thing us in effort to fully remove any evidence. Reggie Bush winning a Heisman is embedded in every sports fan’s Mainframe.

Expecting fans to disregard NCAA History as you “indian-give” trophies is like knocking down Auschwitz and saying “The concentration camps were study halls, not death chambers” well…um, not quite, but you get my point.

With Reggie Bush forfeiting the Heisman Trophy and the Heisman Committee forfeiting their logic, who is the biggest loser? The people who believe in a Football Oscar? Oh, the Vanity! I didn’t know that a 1996 Chevy was considered a performance enhancing drug. They injected useless material with “value” (heisman) and took it away, giving the impression that it mattered. He’ll replace the Heisman with his Super Bowl Ring. You can entertain the fiasco if you’d like to but know this, that’s all it is.
Entertainment.

In unrelated but related news……………

There have been a rash of airplane crashes and misfortunes. One airplane crashed in Venezuela with 47 passengers aboard, about half of them died. Another plane crashed in Japan, death happened. An American Pilot was even arrested by Dutch Police because he was intoxicated and trying to pilot a passenger plane.

So far, it seems as if more planes have crashed in 2010, than have safely landed in 2010. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy flying on airplanes, I just don’t like crashing Kitty Hawk planes. Surviving an auto accident at 32 mph is possible… Surviving a plane crash moving at Mach-1 is tough unless you can Capri-Sun yourself into a liquid or something (My references are insane, I know)… Sooooo after two plane crashes within the last two or three days and a drunken pilot detainment in Amsterdam, who wants to fly Air Travolta??? In lieu of all the airplane crashes, I prefer Airplanes with “Wings”… I am @Ironsheek. Follow me.

Oddities: Cost of a Granny Smith Apple/Uncle Paco


With each day being as interesting as the one before it, more oddities have come to my attention Blogosphere. Wanna hear about them? Sure you do!

I was driving by a Used Car Dealership when I noticed a 99′ Escort on sale for $1995, which is like buying a half-bitten Granny Smith Apple for $49. This came as a surprise initially, but I was sobered by a thought. The thought that being able to forcefully spike a basketball through a metal ring could do more for one’s life than a Bachelor’s Degree could. In some cases at least. Ok, many cases… Most cases. The aforementioned allegory was used to say this: America has an interesting “value” system, you should pay attention more.

In other unrelated but related news…………

In the last week, a pastor from Florida by the name of Terry Jones has created quite the spectacle. Out of all books Americans don’t read, the Quran was singled out. With the average American Reading Level resting at the 7th grade, I’m surprised he wasn’t more at odds with Webster’s Dictionary. If you burn something like the Quran, you probably share the same animosity towards all other books you have trouble reading.

Had you known anything about anything, you’d know that burning a Quran is like defacing your M. Knight Shyamalan interpretation of Jesus. Yes, Jesus is one of the multiple prophets represented in the book. I don’t claim to be religious the least bit, but I am informed. Knowledge, is power. Cliche as it may be, the notion has transcended time. Until next time, I am @Ironsheek on Twitter. Follow, and enjoy.

In case you were wondering what Pastor Terry Jones does in his spare time, here’s an idea. The resemblance is uncanny.

Oddities

Hello there blogosphere. I think Blogosphere is the proper way of addressing you, if not, to hell with formality… or Hades.

Today I write to the incessant sound of “We care about Paris Hilton but can’t figure out why” but that’s neither here nor there, I digress. I come to you because I haven’t written in a while… because I was writing in a blog smaller than this, a “micro-blog”… Twitter to be exact.

It’s been an odd month… A 24-Year old man attacked a Bear, the Bear mauled him, and people almost unanimously agreed that the Bear had a bad attitude… I think the bear was hungry so it acted like a BEAR, in my Uber-confident-but-not-arrogant opinion.

Another Oil Rig exploded in the Gulf of Mexico, letting officials know that they need to build offshore oil rigs faster because they have short shelf lives. Local citizens are infuriated because they’re now fueling their cars with what is now, the Water Supply.

Antoine Dodson has taken the place of the General Larry Platt who immortalized “Pants on the Ground”. One Bojangle replaces another for all of us to enjoy, at the expense of an entire group of people who should be disassociated of course. Excellent.

Hurricane Earl struck the East Coast, with a bright orange Extension Cord. Earl denies the claim that alcohol had anything to do with it. Maybe since the weather authorities named Hurricane Earl after a Truck Stop Clerk, they can name the next big storm after an Italian “informant”, Hurricane Fugazi.

A man plummeted 40-stories only to have his death thwarted by a woman’s car. I thought to myself “Hmm, maybe her AllState Insurance could front his medical bill. Too greedy? Perhaps. He did survive a 40-Story free-fall, he is in “Good Hands”.

Ben Rothlisberger got his 6-game NFL suspension reduced to 4 games by Roger Goodell after his second or third sexual assault accusation… while Plaxico Burress gets denied prison work release for shooting himself. “Exemplary” standards are being set.

Paris Hilton may get banned from Las Vegas due to her Cocaine possession charges, although the loss of Las Vegas may affect her “business”, she thanks ATM I mean God that she wasn’t carrying crack. Powder receives preferential treatment.

Harvey Keitel might be Steve Carrell’s replacement in “The Office”, turning it into “The Precinct”.

Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen… Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/Ironsheek. I am @Ironsheek. Much Love, tell everyone you know about the unofficial official news that I bring. @Ironsheek. Subscribe to my blogs.

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