Monthly Archives: October 2011
Leggings, they’re everywhere. Neoprene reigns supreme in contemporary American culture. Leggings are considered Outerwear, Indoor-Track-Meet-Wear, Casual Wear, and least importantly, Underwear. At what point did they become Overwear? I haven’t the slightest, and neither do they. The point is, with the legging, there is an extremely minuscule layer separating the box from the Earth’s atmosphere. Leggings are not pants, they are sleeves….for your legs…so that your legs can be complemented by an actual layer of clothing.
Leggings are the convergence of naked and mainstream. I don’t mind, I love the female form, but I do find nonchalant nudity to be rather hilarious. Move over, Blue Jean. Get the hell out-of-the-way, fashion. This is the dawn of a new era, when style is the accidental result of throwing your wardrobe into a blender. Although they leave their homes wearing monochrome Saran-Wrap, entering the public sphere while wearing a Naughty Wetsuit, is an act of sheer courage!
Convenience is where it’s at. Women wake up in the morning, and take a NINTENDO Mii approach to dressing themselves. They cycle through accessories, scroll down, highlight “torso”, select some sort of fabric to wrap around themselves, carefully select a boot that matches nothing from the knee up, and they call it an outfit. They would argue that they’re being thrifty. Yea, OK.
“I’m going out to the bars tonight” -In leggings
“I’m staying in, I need to study for the bar exam” -In leggings
“I’m going to Zumba, and then to the bestie’s house” -In leggings, but the colors might change
“I’m going to pay my respects” -In leggings
“I’m headed to class” -In Leggings, and some Navajo Garb
The possibilities are
Leggings have become the center of a Faux Pas Solar System, and the other components of an outfit orbit them inconsequentially. Are leggings a problem? Not really. They’re a versatile pseudo-fashionista’s scapegoat, and they are absolute entertainment. Ladies, give SPAWN his pants back. Kidding, you’re alright with me… but you should embrace style, and wear clothing sometimes.
I am @ironsheek, and I approve this message.
Netflix canceled their Qwikster idea under two premises:
1. Qwikster should be the name of a chocolate milk, and sold to
Nestle. Who is probably also owned by Rupert Murdoch. He owns everything. It’s not an empire, but more like a Kingdom. Ok, same thing. Both may include the intimidation or murder of serfs who speak too freely. I digress. Back to Qwikster.
2. For two additional dollars, yes, eight quarters, nobody wants to receive mail with a DVD inside anymore. AOL 3.0’s outmoded business model? To hell with that. We’re like digital Salmon, we thrive in the stream…
Well, except for the 920 Eisenhower-era people who still read physical newspapers… with fine-print font. Old person + Poor Vision should not equal micro-font. Blogs would be a perfect match for the advanced of age, though the computer could become a new opposition.
I’m @Ironsheek, tune in.
College made perfect sense during, say, Vietnam. Where everyone who wasn’t a middle-to-upper class WASP or a member of Jack & Jill got drafted. I’m pretty sure most of them preferred a degree over a Purple Heart for high-fiving a mortar. Today? The college conundrum has evolved.
People beyond it wish that they were within it, and people within it wish that they were beyond it. Some degrees have led to wonderful opportunities, while others have convinced the Tony Robbins’ of the world to create their own.
Bill Gates, didn’t finish. Mark Zuckerberg, didn’t finish. Mary Kay, Richard (who looks like Sabertooth) Branson, did not finish. Seriously, Branson looks exactly like Sabertooth —
Some of the wealthiest mammals on planet earth needed college to convince them that they did not need college. However, they were already supremely talented so maybe they, could convince you, that you should attend college. You have yet to discover you, though they (Moguls) are well acquainted with themselves. You, on the other hand, may need college if, for no other reason, than to dual-wield the collegiate carbines of assumed credibility. Yes, it is a superficial I matter. That, my friend, was a Halo reference… and I do believe that I nailed it.
College, to the mega-wealthy-brainy-charismatic-elite, was an obstacle. Then again, they already had a vision. Their imaginative world was far more vivid than that of a pale institution, they had advanced ambition, and a professor cannot teach that. Especially a professor who could fail their own test if it were given to them…with a study guide…multiple choice.
If you have a vision, stop at nothing to see that it reaches fruition. If study at a university can serve as a catalyst, then I recommend that you give the university their front-end money although their student-loan goons will slowly collect the back-end for a decade. Yes, I liken student loan lenders to Mobsters who don’t dress like out-of-shape break dancers or Rick Pitinos’, I would imagine that they dress more like Dilbert. Google him. He’s cool.
Over the cost of a lifetime, it is a smaller price to pay than assuming the life of someone Spiderman would’ve webbed up in an alley. Thug life.
For the cliché monger who says “School isn’t for me”, that is ridiculous. How about, life isn’t for you. You can’t get an education in your exact shoe size.
P.S. You can educate yourself for free if you’d like, or almost free. Or half-priced, check out Half-Price Bookstore.
Oh, and I typed this blog from my phone…. shut up.
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- Add PressThis to your browser. It creates a new blog post for you about any interesting page you read on the web.
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