Collegiate Refugee

College made perfect sense during, say, Vietnam. Where everyone who wasn’t a middle-to-upper class WASP or a member of Jack & Jill got drafted. I’m pretty sure most of them preferred a degree over a Purple Heart for high-fiving a mortar. Today? The college conundrum has evolved.

People beyond it wish that they were within it, and people within it wish that they were beyond it. Some degrees have led to wonderful opportunities, while others have convinced the Tony Robbins’ of the world to create their own.

Bill Gates, didn’t finish. Mark Zuckerberg, didn’t finish. Mary Kay, Richard (who looks like Sabertooth) Branson, did not finish. Seriously, Branson looks exactly like Sabertooth —

Richard Branson is, in fact, Sabertooth

Some of the wealthiest mammals on planet earth needed college to convince them that they did not need college. However, they were already supremely talented so maybe they, could convince you, that you should attend college. You have yet to discover you, though they (Moguls) are well acquainted with themselves. You, on the other hand, may need college if, for no other reason, than to dual-wield the collegiate carbines of assumed credibility. Yes, it is a superficial I matter. That, my friend, was a Halo reference… and I do believe that I nailed it.

College, to the mega-wealthy-brainy-charismatic-elite, was an obstacle. Then again, they already had a vision. Their imaginative world was far more vivid than that of a pale institution, they had advanced ambition, and a professor cannot teach that. Especially a professor who could fail their own test if it were given to them…with a study guide…multiple choice.

If you have a vision, stop at nothing to see that it reaches fruition. If study at a university can serve as a catalyst, then I recommend that you give the university their front-end money although their student-loan goons will slowly collect the back-end for a decade. Yes, I liken student loan lenders to Mobsters who don’t dress like out-of-shape break dancers or Rick Pitinos’, I would imagine that they dress more like Dilbert. Google him. He’s cool.

This is what a non-descript Salli Mae "Thank you sir, one second sir, thank you for that sir"" voice looks like

Over the cost of a lifetime, it is a smaller price to pay than assuming the life of someone Spiderman would’ve webbed up in an alley. Thug life.

For the cliché monger who says “School isn’t for me”, that is ridiculous. How about, life isn’t for you. You can’t get an education in your exact shoe size.

P.S. You can educate yourself for free if you’d like, or almost free. Or half-priced, check out Half-Price Bookstore.

Oh, and I typed this blog from my phone…. shut up.

I’m @Ironsheek

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About Travanti

I'm an actor, satirist (read that slowly, or you could get the wrong idea), comedic writer (contingent upon who finds my work funny), & macro/microcosmic social commentator. An alum of the University of Louisville, and Syracuse University (Newhouse Television Radio & Film M.S.)... aren't I being shockingly cavalier about it all?

Posted on October 11, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Collegiate Refugee.

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